Well, I've been sleeping all day. Had a rather late night last night. I walked in the door at 7:00AM.
Got a call from my buddy Pete (OMBM). He and his girlfriend were heading down to Foxwoods Casino . Having nothing better to do, I met up with them after work.
I'm pretty poor this week so I withdrew $200 from the ATM when I got there, and bellied up to the nearest craps table.
It's said that you sould never gamble money you can't afford to lose, but here I was doing it. I had $240 to last until I got paid again and I was betting hard-ways and the pass-line at a craps table with a bunch of people whom I assume were all on some type of public assitance.
I only stayed a few minutes at the craps table. It was obvious that if I stayed longer, I'd have to borrow money from Pete to affoed gas for the drive home. I lost about $40 but, once again, it was money I couldn't afford to lose.
I went over to the poker room and got on the list to play $1 to $5 seven card stud. Half an hour later I was called and coincidentally they sat me at a table where Pete was playing. The other players represented the typical cross-section of America that makes gambling so entertaining. There was the androgenous old person (apparently a very deaf old man), there were a handful of Chinese people, a couple of nice old guys and the token black guy.
I was seated next to a nasty old woman. Her hair was thinning worse than mine, and to say her breath was foul is an absurd understatement. I made it my goal to take every panny from these people (it wasn't a friendly game after all, it was a money game).
I engaged in some casual conversation with the man to my right. I was a bit surprised when he asked if I'd ever had a colonoscopy. He was rather insistent that I should because he had recently had 14 inches of his colon removed due to colon cancer.
This distracted me from my goal of fleecing the humps around the table. I quickly found myself down $200.
Someone left and I moved over to the #2 seat. I was sitting next to Pete now and we figured it would be a good idea to get drunk.
Well apparently when I get drunk, I'm the world's best poker player. I was to a point where I was putting up my ante from the few dollars left in my wallet. Within what seemed a very few minutes, I had several hundred dollars in front of me and a nice buzz as well. The buzz may have been because I hadn't eaten since 10:00AM. The majority of the money came from the stinky old lady and the deaf bastard.
I'm fairly obnoxious when I play poker and I'm particularly so when I'm bombed. This was playing into my benefit. "Don't hate the player, hate the game".
At 3:00AM it was time to head home. I had "miles to go before I slept".
I stopped at the deli to get a big messy pastrami sandwich and a couple of pickles for the ride home. While I was in line, I struck up a conversation with an enormous black lady from Dorchester.
I jumped in the car and headed home (roughly 100 miles away). Up a few dollars and out a lot of sleep.
