Tuna Helper

Reduction in force

2008-12-17T13:04:00.000-08:00

12/17/08

It's cold and snowy.

I left the cube farm at lunch today. As I was leaving the building, I hit a big patch of ice on the sidewalk. I must have slid for ten feet. All the while flailing my arms and uttering a steady stream of expletives. I didn't crash. I'm glad I didn't land hard and break my tail bone.

In the interim since I last posted, my life has changed a bit...

I got married, bought a house, moved out of the city, moved to the country, went to Vegas for the first time (hated it), rode a mechanical bull, did some fishing, and bought a dog.

The dog is coming from a breeder in Kansas. She's scheduled to arrive on or about 1/7/09. She's half Golden Retriever and half Poodle (the dog, not the breeder). This makes her a Goldendoodle. I've posted pics of her (she's the puppy) as well as a pic of her older brother so you can see what she'll look like when she's grown.

The rumors are flying at work about possible layoffs at the end of the week. They use the much more sterile and clinical term of "reduction in force" or RIF. We'll see what happens. I think I'm safe because I'm not terribly well paid and I'm not one of the "dip-shits".

That's all for now.

TH

I've been away...

2008-01-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

It's been 9 months since my last post. The normal human gestation period.

Here's what has happened:

I'm working. It's slowly and surely stealing my soul.

I fished less than I'd like. I did have an epic day tuna fishing. I caught 18 bluefin in one day.

The boat broke down. It was really expensive to fix and took a long time (1 1/2 months).

I'm getting married in 11 days. I'm flying to St Kitts and getting married on a Tuesday night.

That's about it. Not much going on...

thoughts

2007-05-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in 6 months.

New job. It's okay.

Same girlfriend. She's marvelous.

Same boat. Needs some work (VHF, nav. lights, etc.)

Red Sox are leading the AL East fairly convincingly.

Governor Patrick has been largely ineffective.

There's no such thing as a "tax loophole". There's the tax code, and people who know how to utilize the code. If you change the code to prevent this utilization, with the net result being an increase in the taxes one must pay, you've increased taxes.

Thursday 11/30

2006-11-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

It's warm today. 69 degrees in Boston.
Brought the car in for an oil change. They performed to thorough inspection. Apparently it needs $1,600.00 worth of work. It's funny, regardless of what car I'm driving, when I get my oil changed, I always need new struts. The people at Meineke Care Care Centers suck dog balls. Regardless of what George Foreman says...

Paederasts

2006-11-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

British Airways, Qantas, and a few other airlines have a policy...

Their policy is to not allow men to sit next to children who are not their own.
If you are discovered sitting next to an unrelated child, you are asked to move your seat. If you refuse, you are "interfering with the operations of a flight crew" and forcibly removed from the flight.

On a recent British Airways flight to India, a man was asked to move. He explained that he was the children's father and was allowed to stay put. Coincidentally, he is a member of the British Parliament. He wrote the attached:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2006/11/09/do0901.xml

Does anyone else think this policy is absurdly stupid?

Please don't think I support child molesters. In fact, I think there should be mandatory castration as a condition of release for anyone convicted of any type of sexual assault. But this is ridiculous.

Assorted

2006-11-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

So...

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day. I don't care for Thanksgiving. I dig Christmas.

My 20th high school reunion is Friday. I'll probably blow it off. Most of my classmates are douche bags...

Chinese Thanksgiving is Saturday.

Election Day

2006-11-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

Idiots.

Governor Deval Patrick. Good grief...

It's a good day for rapists, cop-killers, and the left-wing lunatics.
We can look forward to a return to 80's style tax and spend liberalism. You know the same policies that nearly forced Massachusetts into bankruptcy.

Oh yeah... I can't buy a bottle of wine at the grocery store either.

Idiots.

Halloween

2006-10-30T12:14:00.000-08:00

I made it through the weekend.

Friday: Not being able to purchase indulgences (thanks Martin Luther), I went to visit Grandma and Aunt Gail. Everything is fine in Watertown.

Saturday: Once again, earned points with the Man upstairs... I drove a Hatian man to Walmart so he could jump his car. Then stood out in the driving rain until the car started. His children and wife thanked me (and blessed me). I felt sorry that the jumper cables cost $21. I wanted to figure out a way to pay for them but couldn't.

I then went to a Halloween party in East Boston. I was dressed as the Gorton's Fisherman (yes I know, but I didn't know anyone there).

The party was fabulous (there may be pictures floating around somewhere). These people really enjoy All Hallows Eve.

I love how Halloween has become "Wear something slutty and show off your bombs night".

Unfortunately drinking a quart of vodka mixed with warm Hawiian Punch was a bad idea...

Sunday: I recovered, watched several episodes of House, and spent the evening with D. It was a lovely way to spend the evening.

Lucy: What did you get Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I got a rock.

Friday 10/27/06

2006-10-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's Friday. Thank Christ.

This week kicked my ass.

I had clients in from California. They enjoyed themselves, I think. We had a breakfast meeting this morning. They didn't show up. Apparently they went in to Boston and Cambridge to do see some sightseeing. That's cool.

I wish I liked eggs.

I'd like to go out and get banged up tonight. I probably won't. It's no fun without a wingman.

2 more days 'til D comes home!

2 more days 'til the Tuna Helper is "on the hard".

I'm having lunch with Dan and Pete this afternoon. I need to try to adhere to the Atkins Diet. My BP is too high.

Day to day

2006-10-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting week.

Went to a party Saturday night. The meatballs were fabulous.
I just reserved the truck to haul the Tuna Helper. It's a sad day...

Actually, by this time of the year I'm really sick of it. I only put 100-150 hours on the boat this year. The last few years I've been averaging 300-400 hours. I did quite a bit of fishing but most of it was on other people's boats.

Next year I may not charter my boat. I would be available for guiding, but I would rather not have strangers on my boat.

When guiding, I get paid to tell people how and where to fish on their boats. We use their gas, their rods, their electronics, their everything! Most importantly you get paid the same as a charter on your boat.

I'm looking at a new boat: http://www.albinmarine.com/ExpressTrawler/ExpressTrawler.html

I can also be seen on that same site: http://www.albinmarine.com/Albin_news.html

Good luck finding me...

Anonymity is critical when blogging. Without it, one must necessarily face the reprecussions of one's postings. More on that later...

Monday 10/16

2006-10-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting weekend.
I met a friend for drinks Friday night. She had to go to a wedding in Vermont the next morning so she left at 9:30 or so.
Finding myself in the Blackstone Valley on a Friday night by myself, I decided to stop at this new place the 50's Lounge...
I stayed for about 45 minutes. I left, feeling depressed, despite "the cowboy" being there. Where does one get leather shirts anyway?
Saturday I spent with a friend. We went to Providence. Unfortunately our destination was not one of the plethora of strip clubs to be found in Providence. Instead I found myself at a store that sells $160 jeans.
I did a bit of shopping myself in the Tommy Bahama section. Now I just need to lose 97 lbs and I'll be "stylin' ".
Pissant lawyer once said of me "That Charlie, he's all id"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego
Saturday, my friend said "Charlie does pretty much whatever the hell he wants".
I'm struck wondering; is that a bad thing?
I do some things that I don't want. I go to the dentist, I pay my taxes, I contribute to my 401(k).
I'm employed, I drive a decent car, I go to church (occasionally). I think that some people envy my freedom. If they have a problem with me, screw 'em.

pic

2006-10-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of me and a tuna I caught earlier this summer.
I let him go unharmed.

Columbus Day Weekend

2006-10-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

Had a long weekend.
Didn't do much Friday or Saturday.
Sunday I went to a wedding. It was okay. I think I could have had the bartender.
Afterwards I went to 80's Night at the Beachcomber in Quincy. It was un-freaking-believable!
It is always great when there's a long weekend. The place was loaded with nubile young women, and some not so young....
I met a lovely woman. Her name is Brenda. I haven't decided if I should call her. I'm kinda scared.
I woke up at my brother Dan's place in the country. His fiance made breakfast and a few people stopped by. It really hit the spot. Apparently apple pancakes and sausages can absorb excess quantities of Jack Daniel's.
I went home and spent pretty much the rest of the day on the couch. It was a pretty average birthday...

Been a long time...

2006-09-28T12:48:00.001-07:00

I have always had enough money to go boozing and fishing. It didn't matter what my employment status was.

Now I have a steady job, a decent car, a cool boat, etc. what I lack however, is time.

I'm taking tomorrow off. I had intended to fish Hudson Canyon for big tuna and sharks. Unfortunately the weather has conspired to throw a wrench into that plan.

I may just sleep in, and clean the cesspool that I live in. Beep beep beep...

Not much going on romantically. I can't imagine why I haven't met anyone while 1) 30 miles offshore fishing for bluefin tuna 2) sitting at a poker table at Foxwoods or 3) getting bombed at the 50's Lounge or The Beachcomber.

I'm sure that once I meet someone, I'll miss my carefree single days.

June 7, 2006

2006-06-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while…

Not much new.

Went to the dentist yesterday. Hadn't been in 5 years. No problems. The hygienist is better suited to concrete demolition than dental hygienistry...

I’ve been hanging out with Darcie a lot. We’ll see if anything develops.

I had someone book a charter yesterday. It came at a perfect time. I really needed the dough.

I have a couple who have chartered me to teach them how to drive their new Boston Whaler. They're very nice people and seem to have plenty of money. They're also very enthused about boat ownership.

My friend went to a “speed-friending” event. She met some very nice people. One of her new acquaintances is a girl She wants to set me up with her. She sounds great, born in Sweden, loves boating and fishing, takes a drink now and then. Essentially the perfect woman… I’ll update the blog if anything comes of it.

The fishing has been hit or miss lately, lots of small fish. I’m heading out this weekend with very high hopes.

The weather SUCKS!!! It seems to rain nearly every day. At least it’s cold…

Annoyed

2006-04-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

I've been reading peoples blogs at random. I've come to the conclusion that most people in this world fall into two distinct categories. Chinese chicks and pussies. There is however a small group of chicks from Holland who make me wish I could speak "freaky deaky Dutch".

There is a huge group of self-absorbed pseudo-intellectuals whose angst filled blogs make me want to puke.

People who work in steel mills, garbage men, crab fishermen, etc. don't suffer from depression. Want to know why? Because they're too busy working their asses off to bitch about how bad they have things.

The US has become a nation of whiney bitches. I may move to the Netherlands...

It's been a while

2006-04-24T07:39:00.005-07:00

I've had no motivation to post lately. Nothing very interesting happening.

I spent the weekend working on the boat. Much of the time on my back under the boat painting and fixing stuff. It was exhausting. Everything that needs fixing is fixed. This included: anti-fouling paint on the hull, float switch in the bilge rewired and replaced, depth sounder installed and working, hull compounded and waxed, rub rail reconditioned and shiney, batteries charged and installed, motor lubricated and de-winterized, truck rented, boat hauled, Tuna Helper floating. It was a lovely day to go for a boat ride (40 degrees and wind-driven rain).

I got the world's funniest text message Saturday night...
"Are you looking to get it on? Call Ann before she changes her mind." Unfortunately I got the message at 2:37 AM. I was sleeping and didn't get the message until the next morning.

Hi Sonia!!! Quand êtes vous allant me rendre visite?

Happy Monday

2006-04-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well it's Monday. I had a busy weekend.

It started Friday night (as most weekends do) with a trip to Paul's house for some man time with me Paul and Jack. I ran into Paul's lovely wife Karen who invited me to join she and her friends at the 50's Lounge. I know that I had sworn off the 50's Lounge, but I was considering it. Of course I ended up at the 50's and it wasn't as horrible as it has been. Karen and her friends always allow me to ramble on about my exploits and Friday was no different.

Saturday I slept in, and went over to Chelsea to give my brother a hand on his boat, Spin Doctor. Afterwards, I had lunch with Paul and Jonathan, did some work on my boat and went home. I started working on one of my fishing reels (my favorite one actually). After about three hours of work, I had the reel to such a state that I have to bring it to a repair shop. It happens every year...

Sunday I went to Westwood to work on the Tuna Helper with Dan. We got quite a bit done. New bilge pump float switch, new depth sounder, new hardware for the hasp batteries charged. Then we had to make ourselves scarce due to an open-house scheduled from 1:30 to 3:00. We went to the laundromat and had some lunch. Pete called and suggested getting together for a drink. This was kind of unusual for Pete (who very rarely leaves his bedroom), so I agreed.

We started what eventually became a mini pub crawl at Joes American Bar and Grill, one drink and then to Chilli's. One drink and off to TGI Fridays (yes it still smells like pee and puke). After Friday's we went to my favorite bar, the lounge at the Tahiti Chinese restaurant. Followed by the Halfway Cafe for a drink and a very satisfying meal of salty salty popcorn. Then to the Village Manor for a few drinks and some trivia (we got our asses handed to us). Apparently I should read People Magazine more. After the Manor, I headed home stopping briefly at Nostalgia's in Quincy for 80's Night. I didn't stay long and picked up some Chinese food on the way home. I ate this with my hands (who needs forks???) while driving home.

Overall, a very busy weekend.

Wednesday 3/29

2006-03-29T06:26:00.000-08:00

It's a glorious day (sunny and warm).

It's the third day on my diet. I'm doing a sort of self administered Atkins Diet. I hope I don't have a massive heart attack from all the pork. It's hard to explain to the cashier that the 5 bags of pork rinds are "diet food".

I intend to work on the Tuna Helper this weekend. I need to replace a float switch and build some new "bolster cushions". I hope the weather cooperates.

My brother has been collecting prom/bridesmaid dresses for the girls in the school at which he teaches. The prom is coming and many can't afford to buy a dress. A friend at work collected from her friends and brought them in today. She probably brought 20!!! It looks like I've been killing bridesmaids and leaving them in the back seat...

I think that's all I have to say.

Dr 90210

2006-03-23T19:49:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting in my apartment watching plastic surgery. Christ on a bike! It's barbaric.
I hate fakes. Big sloppy naturals for me.
If the entire west coast fell into the ocean, the world would be a far better place.

There's no shame

2006-03-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

Last Summer, Dan (my little brother) and I were both unemployed and enjoying ourselves on our respective boats. We didn't have any extra money, but we were getting by on unemployment and the occasional fishing charter.

One day, we were heading into the local food jobber (Johnnies Foodmaster). There was a table set up in front of the store with some hippies collecting food for the local food pantry.

Our exchange went something like this:

Hippie #1: Hey brothers can you help us out?

Charlie: How did you know we were brothers?

Dan: We'll get you on the way out.

Inside the store, I bought a big thing of jelly, and Dan bought a big thing of peanut butter. Dan was sure to buy creamy peanut butter, because poor people have bad teeth, or so he told me.

The exchange on the way out went like this:

Dan: Here, all I can afford is peanut butter (it's been a tough week)

Hippie #1: Hey brother...we appreciate it.

Hippie #2: If you need to, come down to the food pantry. There's no shame. All you want. There's no shame.

On the way back to the yacht club, Dan and I had a good laugh.

Sometimes one must change perspective to appreciate how good you have it.

There's no shame...

Spring has sprung...

2006-03-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

Today at 1:26 PM is the Vernal Equinox. The first day of Spring. It's really cold and windy.

Just came back from lunch. Got a lot done. Got a haircut, went to the town hall and got my birth certificate, got a sandwich, and filled the gas tank.

I've got a new romantic inerest. Her name is Darcie. She seems delightful (we'll see).

Sunday

2006-03-19T07:59:00.000-08:00

It's been a good weekend thus far.
Friday night I went to the 50's Lounge. If I ever mention going there again, kill me.
It was HORRIBLE. I would say that the talent was "lacking". The average rating (on a scale of 1 to 10) was about a 3. The best looking girl there was probably a 6 or 7.
I met up with Mary afterwards.
Saturday I ran some errands then went home to take a much deserved nap. I then headed to Dennis and Cathy (and Jake's). I played cards and some video games. On te way home I stopped at one of the local watering holes , the Village Manor and I had a drink with my friend Steve (Steve Mason...)
The bar had a few gals and one in particular that I should have hooked up with. I blew it. Didn't have my "junk" working. Better luck next time...
I got a series of "booty calls" from Sheryl late-night. Once again, I was too tired.
Okay, gotta take a nap...

St Patty's Day

2006-03-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

Well it's Friday. I got my bonus this week. It wasn't huge but it came in handy (yes it is already spent).

My friend Ulli was offered a job yesterday. She's giddy with excitement. It's nice to see.

She's planning on going to the parade in Southie on Sunday. I told her it was just like Mardi Gras. Without the whimsy...and bosoms...and gays. Just a bunch ignorant micks.

You know why they call it a "Paddy Wagon"?

I'm going out tonight. Perhaps the fabulous 50's Lounge followed by a hotel...

Monday 3/13

2006-03-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday all.

Had a pretty good weekend. Friday night I did nothin'. Saturday I drove to New Hampshire to visit a junkyard. I got about $100 worth of parts and paid $10 for them. I did laundry at the laundromat in Norwood that afternoon. Got a booty call from Sheryl Saturday late-night. I was too tired to "entertain". Sunday I went to a boat show at Foxborough Stadium then went to lunch with my friend Mark.

We had lunch at the "Funway Cafe". It was pretty good. Over lunch we discussed my possibly writing a book. We'd probably collaborate on it. I think it's a good idea. My life used to be much more interesting. I had better get the memories down on paper before I forget everything.

Got my bonus today. It was just about what I expected. Gonna buy some new shoes.

2006-03-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

38 days til the Tuna Helper is floating...

I'm considering where I should go on vacation. I could do the usual, Cape Cod (or Marthas Vineyard or Nantucket). This would be a week of drunken debauchery. I'm afraid that I'm too old for the bars on the Cape. Like Chris Rock said: "He's not old, just too old to be at the club".

I'm also considering traveling internationally. I've been invited to visit my friend in Australia, the lovely Paula. I'm also considering a week at a fishing lodge in Costa Rica (www.crocodilebay.com ).

Before I do anything I need money. I am getting a bonus next week. I hope it's HUGE. If we sell my mom's house soon, I'll have all the money I'd need.

A few posts ago I mentioned a girl I met named Eileen. She's the one who I met on Cape Cod at the Irish village. Well it turns out that my brother's friend knows her. I've got an "in". Now I have to decide what to do with it...

I'll keep you updated.

Monday 3/6

2006-03-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

Weekend was okay.
Went to Foxwoods Friday night. Spent most of the night at a 7 card stud table. After seven hours, I left the table with what I started with. Got home just after 4:00AM.
Saturday, moved furniture and hung out with Paul, Karen, and Jack. Got booty calls from two different gals. Too tired.
Sunday, laundry and car stuff.
I used to be a lot more fun...
40 more days 'til the Tuna Helper is floating.

2006-03-01T19:24:00.000-08:00

It's March 1st. 45 days until the Tuna Helper is launched.
I was watching a show about Ireland today. I'd like to go.
The show reminded me of a girl I dated this Fall. Her name was Sue (she'd been to Ireland many times). She's a delivery room nurse. She was intelligent, edgy, funny, attractive, pretty much perfect.
Unfortunately she didn't think I was any of those things...
We dated for a little over a month, then she dusted me.
Treat women like crap. Never let them in. Never let them know where they stand. Play on their insecurities. They'll throw themselves at you.
There endeth the lesson.

Choices

2006-02-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

March and April of last year, I was e-mailing back and forth with "Ann".
She sent me a few pictures and wasn't entirely repellent.
She mentioned that she was going away for "girls weekend" at the Irish Village on Cape Cod.
http://www.capecod-irishvillage.com/index.shtml
She suggested I meet her there. I gave her a rather non-committal answer.
The week leading up to "girls weekend" was really bad. Lots of bad stuff was happening on both a personal and professional level. I was driving home from Westwood to Boston at 8:00PM Friday, having made the decision to spend the entire weekend in my apartment eating meatball subs in my underwear. As I approached the turn-off that would take me to Boston, I made a snap decision to drive to Cape Cod (about an hour and fifteen minutes away). I realized that I had nothing, no reservation, no toothbrush, no love potion, no "protection", nothin'.
I made it to the Irish Village and strolled into the office. The desk clerk (whose name was Seamus I think) hooked me up with a $40 room. I immediately drove to a convenience store and bought some essentials (toothbrush, toothpaste, and those things...).
I went back to the room and made myself presentable. I headed over to the bar that's on the property not having any idea what to expect.
Walking into the bar, I felt like a T-bone steak being waved in front of a pride of hungry lions. There were a few couples strewn about the bar, but it was mostly "cougars". I have no illusions about my appearance but I was getting "the eye" from perhaps a dozen different women. I knew immediately it was going to be a good night...
The prettiest girl in the bar was up talking to the band (if you can call 2 Irish guys with fiddles a band). I strolled up to the bar and ordered my usual "two Bud Lights please."
Within a few minutes one of the cougars approached and started talking to me. She said her friend (the really hot girl) was going to sing with the band and was wondering if I was willing to sing back-up with her. I said I'd be happy to after a few beers. I told her 19 beers should just about the right number.
After a minute or two, she introduced me around to her friends (who included the lovely Eileen). They were curious who I was with, and I explained my situation. They claimed to have nobody with their group named Ann and invited me to hang out with them. I then told them that if I suddenly started calling myself a different name (Steve Mason) to play along with it. They agreed.
I had a delightful time getting to know Eileen. She was a hospice nurse who lived north of Boston, she also ran an Irish dance studio.
After what seemed to a very short time, last call was announced. Eileen told me that they were having an after-hours party in the "party room" and she invited me.
As Eileen and I were walking over, the subject of relationships came up. She said "How come guys like you never ask me out?" To which I retorted "you'd never go out with a guy like me". Eileen said "You should ask me out and find out." Well I asked her out and she gave me her number.
We got to the "party house" and the cougars were joined by a bunch of guys who were wearing hats with the initials "SFO" on them. I eventually came to learn the SFO stood for the Shit Faced Open, an annual weekend-long golf tournament. I worked the room confident that the hottest girl there wanted to go out with me, and the night was only going to get better.
I struck up a conversation with a lovely girl named Lisa.
As I was talking to her, a few new girls joined the party. Among this new, and obviously intoxicated, group was a big red-headed bruiser with a Red Sox pullover jacket that would have fit me with plenty of room to spare. She made a b-line straight over to the girl I was talking to. Before I could say anything Lisa blurts out: "Ann, have you met my friend Charlie?"
The recognition was almost instantaneous. I went from having nothing but potential with the hottest chick there, to having a shit-faced bruiser in my lap.
I am now faced with a quandary. Do I go with the shit-faced bruiser who's a sure-thing, or do I take a chance with the really hot girl?
Those of you who know me, know how I chose...
The bruiser and I slip out the side door and head to my room.
When I got to my room it became apparent how bombed Ann was. I put her to bed in one of the two beds and I slept in the other. Her snoring convinced me I made the right decision.
The next morning I woke to more snoring. I gathered my few belongings, snuck out, and got some breakfast at the restaurant. As I headed back to my car thinking I had made a clean getaway, I ran smack into Ann. She apologized for her inebriation and promised to make it up to me if I wanted to come back that night. I told her I'd think about it.
I drove back to Boston regretting the entire night. I had to pull-over twice to vomit also.
I called Eileen a few days later and she said she'd been hoping I'd call. I asked her if she'd like to go out and she said she would but first we had to talk. She said that "the rumor around the campfire" was that I had hooked-up with Ann. I explained what happened in a manner that made me look like a hero. She seemed to buy it. I told her I'd call her in a few days to arrange a date.
A week passed and I couldn't find the courage to call her (no booze). She called me a few days later and asked if I'd still like to go out. I said yes and promised to call her in a few days to confirm. I never called her back. Too scared.
Life comes down to a few moments. One can recognize those moments for what they are and act or, one can assume that more and better opportunities will present themselves.
I failed to recognize the opportunity.
C'est la guerre...

At long last

2006-02-26T17:35:00.000-08:00

I've been remiss in my posting. I didn't have much going on in my life.
Last Sunday was 80's Night. It was pretty good, lots of talent.
There was a girl there whom we referred to as "Demented Jen." She bore a slight resemblance to my ex-girlfriend Jen (but better...and worse).
The most remarkable feature of "Demeneted Jen" was a string of pearls she was wearing.
The pearls formed a neck-tie that drew ones eye to her bosom like a moth to a flame. Once there, it was apparent that she had nothing on underneath her blazer. It was a great look...
I spoke to her off and on throughout the night, she was actually pretty cool. I didn't have the courage to ask her out (not enough booze).
Thursday I drove to Milford and met up with Mary.
Friday I did nothin'.
Saturday I went to a birthday party for my nephew Connor. He's 1.
Sunday I did laundry and hung out with Paul and Karen and their new baby Jack. Karen's sister was also there. I regailed them with stories of my mis-spent youth. I may have horrified Elaine...
I'm planning a weekend trip to the Irish Village on Cape Cod in April. More about that as it gets closer...

Chester A. Arthur

2006-02-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

Friday. 3:33PM.

We’re heading towards a long weekend and it’s payday. Woohoo!

President's Day weekend. I think Chester A Arthur may be my favorite president.

Don’t know what’s going on tonight. I’m going to buy pants tomorrow. I need some pants. Pants that make my ass look good. Perhaps blue...

Drinking Sunday. 80’s Night at Nostalgia’s in Quincy, the cheesiest place on Earth. It’s wonderful.

phone call

2006-02-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

So I just called a girl I've been talking to on-line for several weeks. Her name is Jenn. This was to be our first conversation.
The conversation could not have gone any worse. Apparently I woke her out of a deep sleep. She had no idea who I was "Who's Charlie McCann???". God help me.
So what do you do in a situation like that? Do you keep trying to explain who you are and what you want?
No me. I hung up.
She called back ten minutes later and wanted to know who I was.
Bad...

Sick

2006-02-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sick. I feel like ass and have a fever. Maybe I'll lose some weight...

February 12th

2006-02-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

Sunday night. The end of another uneventful weekend. I seem to remember my youth being much more exciting.

Friday night I went to my friend Goody's house. We played video games and then went to the fabulous 50's Lounge for a few drinks. It was okay. The talent was...lacking. The place has gone down hill steadily since the first time we went last Summer.

Saturday I went to a birthday party for my 2 year-old nephew. It was lovely. Cake and ice cream.

I got a series of late night text messages last night. Having recently had my phone stolen, I didn't recognize the number. I received and responded to six messages before I asked just who the hell I was conversing with. It was Sheryl. She had had a few glasses of wine.

Sunday we had a god damn blizzard. I had to dig my car out of 2 feet of snow with my hands. Not fun.

I had a long conversation with my friend tonight. She recently moved to Boston. She's working at a job that's beneath her and she's getting very discouraged. I think she's pretty typical of a lot of women. She doesn't realize that a temporary "professional setback" is no reflection upon her abilities nor a harbinger of what the future holds. She has a very promising interview Wednesday, I hope she does well.

I get paid this week, woohoo! Planning to go to the "great New England Boat Show", and 80's Night at Nostalgias in Quincy Sunday night. President's Day is next Monday so I have all day to recover. Real nice...

Thursday

2006-02-09T07:16:00.000-08:00

Not much happening.

I tripped while walking home the other night. It's not the physical injuries I sustained, but the bruising of my pride and ego that hurt the most. That, plus the fact that I ripped my favorite fat-guy pants...

There are riots breaking out across the globe over cartoons published in a Danish newspaper depicting the prophet Mohammad. Apparently that's not cool in Islam. Well...fuck 'em.

We're dealing with a society that hasn't advanced in a thousand years. They're ignorant, uneducated zealots. People who are willing to strap bombs to themselves and detonate themselves in a bus full of innocents. We should kill every single one of them (men, women, children, all of them), then pave the entire middle east. That might ease the parking problems in Boston and other major metropolitan areas.

I want to make it clear that I'm not some ignorant "red state" republican who follows whatever President Bush says blindly. I am indeed a registered republican, however I disagree with most of what Bush has done. We should not have invaded Iraq. Not because there were no WMD's but because we had lots of real enemies in the world. Now we're mired in a guerilla war and the indigenous population hate us (sound familiar?) How about the Saudis? Most of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis, bin Laden is a Saudi. USS Cole, Saudis and Yemenis. How about North Korea, Iran, China? There are lots of bad people out there.

And the U.S. policy towards Cuba is stupid also.

"That's all I have to say about that"

Massachusetts Dept of Revenue

2006-02-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

I did my taxes Thursday 2/2. E-filed with Turbo Tax. Got my state refund today 2/7.

Thank Christ. I had $49 to last me until Thursday of next week, and I needed gas.

Now I can eat and go to the fabulous 50's Lounge this weekend.

Monday night

2006-02-06T17:44:00.000-08:00

Mary (from Saturday night) is on her way over. Better take my viatamin E...
I made some delicious spaghetti sauce.I hope I can find a place for her to park.
"How I Met Your Mother" is on. It's my favorite show.

Monday

2006-02-06T05:45:00.000-08:00

Monday morning, February 6th.

Superbowl was last night. The officials guaranteed a Steelers win.

The music was really awful. They had some guy with a tattoo on his face as well as the fat lady from the diner scene in the Blues Brothers sing the national anthem. Then the Rolling Stones played the half-time show. My God they're awful. "Smithers, have the Rolling Stones Killed."

Not much happened this weekend. I got a call from my friend Mary Saturday night. She was going to a party in Lowell. She mentioned "coming over" afterwards. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 2:50AM. No call...

I'm broke for the next ten days. I did my taxes the other day. I may get a refund if the IRS doesn't take it. I owe them a couple of thousand. I sure could use the dough... I'm hoping their institutional inefficiency works to my favor.

My friend Paula may come to visit in June. That would be nice, she's delightful. She sent me a couple of very cute pictures:

I'm thinking of going to Australia (or Oz as they call it). It's a really long flight.

"Got to stop wishin'...got to go fishin"

2006-02-02T07:16:00.000-08:00

Ground Hog Day

2006-02-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

Well it's February 2nd and apparently Ground Hog Day.
Phil saw his shadow and apparently there will be another six weeks of winter. There's a big surprise.

In these parts we call them woodchucks.

The only experience I've had with woodchucks is when our dog Kodi brought a big fat one back from a foray into the woods. My mother, my brother Dan, and I watched as Kodi began shaking the woodchuck in order to kill it. Well...apparently this woodchuck was fat because it was pregnant. Almost immediately little woodchuck fetuses bagan spraying all over the yard. Disturbing.

We made Dan clean that particular mess up.

Wheat from the Chaff

2006-02-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

The chaff that is the 50s Lounge is copious, but do you really expect to find the wheat kernel of love and happiness there? Isn't sex in cars with twice divorced matrons a sad, sad way to spend your pre-dawn hours? And by the way, what time are we heading down there?

Various

2006-02-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Wednesday. It's February 1st. 74 days until the Tuna Helper is launched.
I'm going to start planning Charlie Palooza. That's my annual fete. It's sure to be a good time despite the freezing rain and howling wind... I'm thinking June 3rd (depending upon availability of the deck at CM www.constitutionmarina.com).
I'm going to dinner with my buddy Mark tomorrow. We're going to have steak and then go to the fabulous 50's Lounge. I've never been on a Thursday, we'll see how it is.
The 50's Lounge has been fairly productive for me of late. There was Mary who's still married (I think), Michelle who had a little girl but she was delightful. She gave me her number, I called her twice and never got a call back. Lousy bitch... And finally there's the old lady, I think her name was Marian or Miriam or something like that. She was quite buxom...
I have finally recovered from Saturday night's booty call. I had battle scars all over. It's nice when a girl is enthusiastic, but this was a little ridiculous...
I was listening to the 80's band The Outfield while driving to work this morning. Say what you will, I like them. They remind me of summers on Cape Cod, Sea St Beach East Dennis, keg beer, hotdogs, and of course girls from Connecticut.
"That's all I have to say about that."

Saltwater Sunday

2006-01-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

I had a most delightful evening planned. Hawiian beef from the world's worst Chinese restaurant on Hanover St in Boston's North End, pineapple juice and Fresca (a delightful combination), and finally Brigham's Mocha Almond for desert. An episode or two of The Sopranos on OnDemand, followed by bed at a reasonable hour. Sunday morning I'd wake up refreshed and watch "Saltwater Sunday" on ESPN 2. Does it get any better?
All was going as planned. Dinner was about what I've come to expect from China House. I hit the sack about 11:30 and was sleeping like a baby until 2:00AM, at which time the phone rang. Now... for most people, when the phone rings it's bad news. When the phone rings at 2:00AM at my place it can only mean one thing; booty call.
I was right as to the purpose of the call. My friend Ann, whom I had been out with a few times, apparently had a few beers. I then found myself faced with a dilemna. Do I get out of bed and drive to Ann's place, or do I stay snug and warm in bed catching up on some very much needed sleep. For those of you who know me, the answer was obvious.
Out of bed, brushed my teeth, a bit of love potion, and finally some pants, off I went.
The particulars are unimportant. I left the house at 2:15AM and came back at 6:00AM. So much for "Saltwater Sunday"...

As I write this, I'm watching The Transporter. I like the French policeman.

late night

2006-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been sleeping all day. Had a rather late night last night. I walked in the door at 7:00AM.
Got a call from my buddy Pete (OMBM). He and his girlfriend were heading down to Foxwoods Casino . Having nothing better to do, I met up with them after work.
I'm pretty poor this week so I withdrew $200 from the ATM when I got there, and bellied up to the nearest craps table.
It's said that you sould never gamble money you can't afford to lose, but here I was doing it. I had $240 to last until I got paid again and I was betting hard-ways and the pass-line at a craps table with a bunch of people whom I assume were all on some type of public assitance.
I only stayed a few minutes at the craps table. It was obvious that if I stayed longer, I'd have to borrow money from Pete to affoed gas for the drive home. I lost about $40 but, once again, it was money I couldn't afford to lose.
I went over to the poker room and got on the list to play $1 to $5 seven card stud. Half an hour later I was called and coincidentally they sat me at a table where Pete was playing. The other players represented the typical cross-section of America that makes gambling so entertaining. There was the androgenous old person (apparently a very deaf old man), there were a handful of Chinese people, a couple of nice old guys and the token black guy.
I was seated next to a nasty old woman. Her hair was thinning worse than mine, and to say her breath was foul is an absurd understatement. I made it my goal to take every panny from these people (it wasn't a friendly game after all, it was a money game).
I engaged in some casual conversation with the man to my right. I was a bit surprised when he asked if I'd ever had a colonoscopy. He was rather insistent that I should because he had recently had 14 inches of his colon removed due to colon cancer.
This distracted me from my goal of fleecing the humps around the table. I quickly found myself down $200.
Someone left and I moved over to the #2 seat. I was sitting next to Pete now and we figured it would be a good idea to get drunk.
Well apparently when I get drunk, I'm the world's best poker player. I was to a point where I was putting up my ante from the few dollars left in my wallet. Within what seemed a very few minutes, I had several hundred dollars in front of me and a nice buzz as well. The buzz may have been because I hadn't eaten since 10:00AM. The majority of the money came from the stinky old lady and the deaf bastard.
I'm fairly obnoxious when I play poker and I'm particularly so when I'm bombed. This was playing into my benefit. "Don't hate the player, hate the game".
At 3:00AM it was time to head home. I had "miles to go before I slept".
I stopped at the deli to get a big messy pastrami sandwich and a couple of pickles for the ride home. While I was in line, I struck up a conversation with an enormous black lady from Dorchester.
I jumped in the car and headed home (roughly 100 miles away). Up a few dollars and out a lot of sleep.

Who is the Tuna Helper?

2006-01-27T09:28:00.000-08:00

I'm a single, 37 year old guy. I live in downtown Boston.

I work for an investment management company in the town I grew up in. I work with mid-market 401(k) plans.

I hold an OUPV (Operator of an Uninspected Passenger Vessel) license issued by the US Coast Guard and operate a charter fishing boat called "Tuna Helper". We fish for striped bass, bluefish, bluefin tuna, and sharks.

In addition to being a licensed stock-broker and fishing boat captain, I am also a superhero. In the weeks and months that follow, I'm sure you'll agree.

Bienvenue

2006-01-27T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hello and welcome.
I intend to post my thoughts and experiences here. I welcome and look forward to any comments you may choose to add.
Q. Why bother reading my blog as opposed to any of the myriad blogs avalable?
A. Because I am really funny and I do a lot of crazy shit